Joining us today from the pages of The Cowboy and the Vampire Collection is Lenny, a survivalist and improvised weapons expert with some peculiar political views. He’s the long-time friend of Tucker and has, by necessity, become an expert in making weapons capable of dispatching the undead.
Hello Lenny, welcome. What did you bring with you today? This? It’s a reverse surveillance tracker I made out of an old cassette recorder, a GPS unit and an electric toothbrush. I want to be able to monitor whoever it is monitoring this conversation to find out where they are broadcasting from.
Lenny, is fair to say you are a conspiracy theorist? Not really, no. “Theorist” implies that it’s hypothetical. There’s nothing in doubt here. I prefer to think of myself as a conspiracy realist.
Can you describe a few of the plots you think are real? You’d like that, wouldn’t you?
Pardon me? I mean, you’re part of the mainstream media. You’re in on it. You have your role to play, keeping us distracted and uninformed, and you’re doing a great job by the way, but I know you’re in on it. You’re all in on it.
What is “it,” exactly? Only the single largest transfer of wealth since the 19th century rise of the robber barons.
And the wealth is being transferred to … ? You are really going to make me say it, aren’t you? Off planet.